Coffee House Girl

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Posts by Coffee House Girl

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  16

  I need some advice...regarding my jw dads funeral

  by happyexjw in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i could really do with some sound advice regarding my dad who is a long serving jw and his funeral arrangments.. my dad is in his last stages of cancer and has been talking with the elders about his funeral and with his family.

  because a lot of his family are not jw's and that myself and my sister are both disfellowshipped.

  he has chosen to have his funeral at the crematorium and hold a memorial at the kingdom hall a few days after.

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  Coffee House Girl

  happyex,

  I am so sorry. My sympathies to your and your family at this difficult time, I am facing a similar situation with my dad in kidney failure and lung cancer (not in final stages though). My only personal experience in this area is my ex-father-in-law's funeral- he was not an active JW at the time of his death, but he was baptized. He had many "worldly" relatives and friends- and they wanted to say a few words to eulogize him. They insisted on it the day of the funeral. His funeral was graveside, and the elder did say after his discourse that a few of Jim's relatives wanted to say a few words, they came up & said things about "Big Jim"- I have never seen it before at a "JW" funeral.

  Apparrently the aftermath was such: the elder who gave the funeral talk was very worried that he would "get into hot water" over losing control of the way the JW funeral was carried out....

  Bottom line....the guy is still an elder today so obviously no judicial action was taken to him.

  Perhaps an insistence on your DF'd families wishes to speak or play music at the crematoriam, more forseful insistance will help.

  Welcome & hope to hear more from you

  CHG
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  23

  My experience

  by MrFreeze in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my experience is in no way remarkeable but i felt like sharing it anyway.

  i was raised a jw.

  my mom became one the year i was born.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I am glad you got to say your peace, what you are saying makes a lot of logical sense & I remember similar experiences with the saving of seats at the DC's- I sincerely wish you the best in your personal journey, please continue to post your thoughts

  CHG
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  38

  Gratitude from a long time lurker!

  by Thetis in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i cannot begin to tell you how grateful i am to you!

  you reassured me while i was one of the walking wounded.

  you know that line from the movie "shadowlands", when the student says to c.s.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Nice to have you here, thank you for sharing your experience....the Crisis book has really helped me work through my anger and guilt feeling over leaving the organization, Mr. Frantz put so eloquently exactly how I was feeling.

  Please post more about how you are doing with your relationship with your mom, I struggle with what to do with my JW mom, & I think your experiences can help us with family still in-

  I am so sorry about the elders traumatizing you with your very delicate situation, I have heard about such experiences before & sadly I did answer some elder's questions in the past about my personal sex life with my then JW husband that I wish I never would have revealed....

  Best Wishes to you

  CHG
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  36

  How old were you when you got baptized...was it your own decision?

  by Desilusionnee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  Coffee House Girl

  13 years old, was it my own decision??- yes, no one put a gun to my head, but I was spoon fed from infancy that baptism was just something you did, & I wanted to make my mom proud of me. Plus I wanted friends, I couldn't have friends at school and the other kids my age at the hall didn't do anything with me because my dad wasn't a witness...so I thought that baptism would bring me some friends.

  Yea, I was naive and stupid.

  CHG
• 
  18

  Ray Franz - Points in " Christian Freedom " book- " The Recurring Pattern"

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as we all mourn ray's passing last week - i think it's good to remember some awesome points he brought out in defining a " recurring pattern " of control and dominance that the wt society has exercised over it's members the last 130 + years.

  so as i'm reading his second book right now " in search of christian freedom " there are some revealing nuggets i wanted to share with you all.. in the chapter entitled " the recurring pattern " it states about c.t.

  russell on pg.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Mr. Flipper,

  Thanks for the suggestion on the second book, I was unaware of a second book & I am on the last ten pages of "crisis of conscience"! He truly was a brave man, I truly appreciate the steps he took to extensively document the truth about the "truth".
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  56

  When is the Big GENERATIONS WT Study in congregations?

  by daringhart13 in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  does anyone know?

  ?.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Yea, when I was a dub - my comment on that paragraph in the WT study would just be read exactly as underlined because I really didn't understand what the hell they are saying, plus the box titled "Are you keeping up with increasing light?" gives the connotation that if you are not keeping up with this bullshit, you fear being left behind and marked as "spiritually weak".

  I cannot step foot in a KH, so I will be sure to check back here to hear from those of you who try to comment on those paragraphs!
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  9

  Letter to my non-jw mother, and an intro of sorts.

  by Pootler in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  a bit of background: i thought that i was an ex-ex-jw until the latest new light.

  i left in my mid teens without being baptised, and my mum left later.

  my step-dad and borther stayed in, and are still in.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Thanks for sharing that letter Pootler, welcome

  I feel for you, your mom is stuck in an unhealthy situation & I sincerely hope that letter will help empower her.

  I dont have any idea how my family still in the borg will take this "generation change", I'm sure they will swallow it whole and be grateful for the great "spiritual food". I know that I cannot ever reach my mom on these doctrinal issues, she has been a JW since the 1950's (seen all the 1975 crap) and still wholeheartedly believes it all- she is older and getting infirmed now, all she has lived for is the end of this system of things and to see the new system- I cannot reach her & in her delicate state I am not sure if I want to, I think- let her go believing she has done all she can and with the resurrection hope.

  It is sad to think of what a waste her life has been, she was once vibrant, witty, a real firecracker....

  That is why it is my hope for you that your efforts bring you some good results, good luck to you & keep us posted!

  CHG
• 
  23

  Me

  by Sighco in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  just thought i should share a bit of my story with you all, i'm on this board everyday and can't stop reading.

  i was raised as a witness by my mother and grandmother, dad and gramps weren't witnesses.

  i was baptized at 15, i believed it was the truth but was still pushed into baptism by my mom, she thought it reflected negativly on her as a mother that i wasn't dipped yet.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Welcome Sighco,

  I enjoyed hearing a bit of your story, I LOL'd on the coconuts comment (never heard that one before, they didn't say that in Michigan)

  Please post more

  CHG
• 
  41

  Why do I suddenly get stupid when the elders talk to me

  by JWinprotest in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  does anyone else have the same problem.

  when i'm alone, i am constantly thinking about all the clever things i'm going to say if visited by the elders, but when i actually get confronted, these things never come to mind, and i keep spitting out drivel like some dumb idiot.

  after they leave, i rethink the conversation, and i'm furious over all the oppotunities i've missed to put them in their place.......damn it!!!!!

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  Coffee House Girl

  thank you for this thread...I need the reminder that the elders are just men and their authority means nothing to me now, and I am entitled to a private life and do not have to talk about anything I do not want to!

  I keep getting the phone calls from the KH on sundays & my mom just gave me the message that "Brother Elders wants you to call him". I just said thanks & dropped the subject-

  It is obvious by now that I am not calling him back, so the control is lost...what next???
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  42

  Disfellowshipping - But You KNEW About It Before You Were Baptized!

  by Georgiegirl in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  started a new topic b/c i didn't want to threadjack another ongoing pointless debate.

  :) (isn't it interesting how the apologists all come out around dc time?).

  i have seen that statement made over and over again by jws about disfellowshipping.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Primate Dave,

  Your expression is right on- those of us born in and baptized in our early tweens or teens weren't thinking ahead when we made the crucial decision/mistake to get baptized...

  So those who assert that we shouldn't whine about the shunning and isolation because "we knew the consequences of disfellowshipping when we got baptized" -have no understanding or empathy & I ignore their callousness

  CHG